Are you frustrated by them?
Do you feel it is taking way to long before we find a solution?
Trying to solve the unrest with force and anger is not working, because violence feeds violence. Anger feeds anger. But I have good news.
There is a solution and if you apply it fully, I guarantee you at least one of the following outcomes:
- The irritating people will disappear gracefully out of your life (without you having to shoot them or destroy their possessions)
- They will change
- They will not irritate you anymore
- You become effective in dealing with them
Is this something you want, even if it is through an unorthodox method?
The solution is called "Three Fingers are Pointing Back". Those irritating people are our mirror. Their behaviour is a reflection of how we treat ourselves.
Let's explore some examples. I am first going to look at some examples for the people who are negatively affected by the protests, followed by an example for the protesting students..
Example 1) The protesting students are bullying and intimidating the students and staff who want to continue with the academic year.. They are disrespectful of the needs of others
How are they our mirror?
We need to ask ourselves, "How disrespectful am I of my needs? How often do I wipe my needs off the table just to keep the peace and/or accommodate others?
If we don't like our reflection, it is time to make some changes to ourselves, instead of trying to change the irritating people (which is as ineffective as trying to make our reflection look good, by painting on the mirror)
We need to ask ourselves "How do I want others to take my needs into consideration?" Then we take responsibility for the implementation of these ideas. We can start by taking our own needs into consideration, by voicing them and making them equally important to the needs of others. We respectfully negotiate until both parties are happy. It is important that we apply this in all areas of our lives, especially where it is difficult for us to speak up (peacefully).
They want support, in the form of an education, from the University, but they are destroying them.
How are they our mirror? We need support and the most important person we need support from is ourselves. But how often do we destroy ourselves, by being critical of ourselves, and believing that we are not good enough?
If we want to see a change in these protests, then it is vital that we start, by building ourselves up, instead of being our own worst enemy. It is time that we learn to support ourselves through thick and thin!
How often do we change the goal posts for ourselves. We say "When I get this new job, then I will be good enough. We get the job, we are happy with ourselves for a short while and then we make new demands on ourselves. We might say "When I reach my goal weight, I will be good enough, etc.
What is the solution? Let's start by accepting ourselves for who we are and being happy and grateful for who we are and what we have.
My question to you is "How often do you compare yourself with others and you come off second best? If you want equal opportunities, start treating yourself with the respect that you are seeking from others. Start giving yourself a chance, by really treating yourself (and others) with respect, especially when you made a mistake, or when you think that someone else is more successful than you.
How are the "Three Fingers Pointing Back" going to stop the protests?
You are probably saying to yourself "Yeah right, how is this going to resolve the protests?" How it exactly works, I cannot explain, but in the 25 years I have been applying them, I have not seen the exception to this rule yet. There were times I wished there was an exception, because it was very humbling to fall off my self-righteous high horse when realised that I was no better than the person(s) I was upset with.
If you want to break out of this impasse, you need to focus on changing yourself. When you change and keep applying those lovely, humbling, three fingers pointing back, you will very quickly get at least one of the 4 outcomes as I promised at the beginning of this blog. I cannot tell you which one it will be.