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How easily do we feel sh1t, because our peace is disturbed by the painful comments and/or actions of others? And what do we do with this pain? Brené Brown says “We are better at creating pain for others than dealing with our own pain.” Hurt is contagious, because when we hurt we often want to lash out at others,. And so we create a chain reaction of pain and disturbing peace for ourselves and others. What can we do to create peace instead of sh1t?
The other day I received negative feedback about my behaviour. Some points were valid, although they were some small issues, but others were a total misinterpretation of my actions. As Wayne Dyer used to say, "What other people think of us, is none of our business." It is impossible to be true to ourselves and at the same time keep other people happy all the time. Even if we do our best to keep them happy, we have no control over how they interpret our behaviour. All we can do is act with integrity and work with our buttons that are pushed by others.. We can do our best not to harm people, but we cannot guarantee we will not hurt others.
We live in a society that loves judging people. When people are hurting themselves, they are more critical of others. They might even like to pull others down, in order to feel better about themselves. They will start talking to others about those people they are judging.
If we dislike the person they are talking about, I know it is very tempting to join them in their gossip. We just need to remember that gossip creates rifts and breaks down communities. It also destroys our own happiness.
If we have the courage to challenge the complainant, we could say “What button is this person pushing for you? Would you like to identify and remove this button within yourself so that you can feel better?” If they say yes you can ask them “What do you read into this person’s behaviour? Where are you treating yourself in a similar way? How can you start treating yourself the way you want to be treated?”
If we want peace instead of sh1t, it is important that we take responsibility for our buttons. When they get pushed it is for us to identify and remove them. This way we create future peace for ourselves. We also create peace for others, because it becomes easier to stop the pain chain.