A New Way of Looking at Health
Have you ever wondered whether fighting, relationship conflict or emotional stress can actually make you sick?
Our everyday language certainly suggests that we believe there is a connection between our emotions and our bodies.
We say:
“I can’t stomach that.”
“She broke my heart.”
“That hard work broke my back.”
For more than 30 years, I have worked with the principle that the mind and body are connected — or perhaps more accurately, that they are not really separate at all.
Over the last two years, however, I have been studying something called Germanic Healing Knowledge (GHK), and it has challenged much of what I previously believed about health and illness.
Some of the ideas initially turned my thinking upside down. At the same time, they made enough sense to me that I wanted to explore them further. So I invite you to explore a rather different question with me:
What if conflict affects our health in a very different way from the one we usually imagine?
Prefer to watch?
I explore this question in my video Can Fighting Make Us Sick?, where I use examples to explain this very different way of looking at conflict, illness and the body’s response.
WATCH THE VIDEO: Does Fighting Make Us Sick?
[Video link will go here once the YouTube Premiere is created.]
What if the body is adapting to conflict?
When we are fighting with someone, we perceive the situation as a threat in some way.
That doesn’t necessarily mean we are in physical danger. The threat could be rejection, loss, betrayal, humiliation, financial insecurity, losing someone we love or countless other things.
What if the body responds to that perceived danger by adapting?
Think about an animal in the wild.
When a prey animal senses a predator, its body changes to give it a better chance of survival. Its senses become more alert. It is ready to detect danger and respond. One of the things it does is widen its nostrils to smell better.
Could our bodies also make biological adaptations according to the particular conflict or threat we perceive? This is where GHK offers an explanation that is very different from the conventional medical view.
One example given within this framework concerns our sense of smell. The idea is that when we experience a particular kind of perceived danger, GHK suggests that a reduction of the lining of our nasal passages takes place, allowing us to detect a threat more effectively.
I am using this as one example of how the body could respond to conflict, according to GHK. Different perceived threats are proposed to produce different biological responses. Whether you agree with that explanation or not, I find the underlying question fascinating:
What if the body isn’t simply malfunctioning? What if it is attempting to adapt to what we are experiencing, so it can cope better?
And what happens when the fight is over?
This is where the idea becomes even more interesting. What if some of the symptoms that make us say, “I’m sick,” appear after the conflict has been resolved? Think about what happens when you cut yourself.
While the cut is happening, tissue is being damaged. Once the injury stops, the body begins repairing it. It starts by stopping the bleeding. After that, the area becomes swollen. It can become painful and throb. Increased moisture and blood flow brings materials involved in tissue repair to the area, while pain encourages us to protect it and give it time to recover.
In other words, some of the things that feel unpleasant are occurring while the body is repairing damage. That raises an intriguing possibility:
What if some symptoms we associate with illness coincide with a period in which the body is recovering after a conflict has passed?
Within the GHK framework I am studying, this period is described as the healing phase.
In the nasal example I discuss in my video, the proposed explanation is that once the perceived danger has passed, the body begins rebuilding the affected tissue. Moisture, swelling and discomfort then appear — symptoms we might recognise as part of a common cold.
This interpretation of colds, bacteria and viruses differs substantially from conventional medical explanations. I am not presenting it as established medical science. I am sharing a framework I am studying because it raises questions that I believe are worth exploring.
According to GHK, we may experience occasional symptoms while the conflict is still active, but most symptoms occur during the healing phase, after the conflict has been resolved.
What about bacteria and viruses?
This was one of my own questions. We normally think of bacteria and viruses as causes of illness. But what if microorganisms found during illness are connected with processes occurring while the body is adapting to the conflict, and they aid in repairing and restoring the body?
An analogy I use in the video is a fire. Imagine that every time there is a fire, firefighters arrive. If we repeatedly observe firefighters wherever there is a fire, we could see a strong association between the two. But that doesn’t mean the firefighters caused the fire.
Could we be confusing something involved in a biological process with the cause of that process?
I am deliberately leaving that as a question.
So, can fighting make you sick?
I believe conflict can have a profound effect on the body.
But perhaps the relationship between conflict and health is more complicated than:
Conflict → stress → illness
What if it sometimes looks more like:
Conflict → the body adapts → the conflict resolves → the body changes again as it recovers during the healing phase
And what if some of the symptoms we call being sick occur during that healing phase?That certainly gives us a different way of looking at health.
Why can’t I sleep when I’m in conflict?
Here is something you can observe for yourself. Think back to a night when you couldn’t sleep because something was bothering you. Were you:
- Replaying a conversation?
- Thinking about what somebody had done?
- Wondering what you were going to say tomorrow?
- Trying to solve a problem?
I have noticed this in my own life. When I can’t sleep, rather than immediately looking only at the sleeplessness, I ask myself:
What am I fighting in my life right now? Then I look at what is happening. I may do forgiveness work or mirror work and look for a way of resolving the conflict internally.
If you are unfamiliar with mirror work, you may enjoy my blog Why Befriend the Mirror?, where I explain how the people and situations that upset us can reveal something about what is happening within us.
Even when the external situation hasn’t completely changed, I often find that once I have dealt with my relationship to it, sleep comes more easily.
Why do many people get sick on holiday?
Have you ever worked incredibly hard, finally gone on holiday…
…and promptly become sick?
I’ve often wondered about this.
What if you have been experiencing conflict with somebody at work? Then you leave for your holiday. That person isn’t there anymore. The situation that your body perceived as threatening has temporarily disappeared.
What if your body recognises that the fight is over?
And what if that is precisely when the recovery process can begin? It turns the familiar experience of “Why do I always get sick as soon as I go on holiday?” into a completely different question. My invitation to all of us — myself included — is that the next time we get sick, instead of asking only:
“What made me sick?” we could also ask: “What conflict have I just resolved?” I find that a fascinating question.
It doesn’t mean ignoring symptoms or abandoning appropriate medical care. It means becoming curious about what else might have been happening in our lives around the time those symptoms appeared.
What do you think?
This way of looking at illness may challenge you, make complete sense to you, or you may think I am talking rubbish!
Any response is welcome.
The next time you become sick, consider looking back over the preceding days or weeks and asking:
What was happening in my life?
Was I experiencing conflict?
Has something recently changed or been resolved?
You may discover an interesting pattern.
And I would genuinely love to hear what you find.
Watch my video, Does Fighting Make Us Sick?, and tell me what you think in the comments below the video. I’m especially interested to hear whether you have ever noticed symptoms appearing after a stressful situation or conflict was over.
WATCH THE VIDEO AND COMMENT
Would you like to explore a conflict in your own life?
Perhaps reading this has brought a particular conflict or situation to mind.
If you would like to explore what may be happening underneath it and look at the situation from a different perspective, you are welcome to book a free chat with me.
Sometimes we don’t even realise how much energy we are putting into fighting a person, a situation — or even ourselves. Use the button below to book a free chat with me
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